Pop Quiz Time!
Question: What does 7 + 8 equal?
(We didn’t say Hard Pop Quiz Time!…)
Answer: Shabazz Naparrison.
Don’t trust the math? Here’s the proof. SEE PHOTO ABOVE
Back when this whole thing started, when the world was all just 63 games away from a billion dollars, when we all collectively forgot what a Red Herring was and then subsequently subjected ourselves to innumerable Quicken Loans emails throughout the month of March, the tournament seemed wide open.
Like the plains near Wichita, Kansas, anyone had a shot. Even little old Dayton. But, like NCAA Tournaments past, it was also widely assumed that while the field might have been wide open, the Final Four would be populated by the Elder Statesmen of D-1 canon, most of whom happened to be seeded in the top four of their respective bracket divisions.
But alas, Kansas, North Carolina, Michigan State, Duke (WE ARE ALL MERCER BEARS), Arizona, Syracuse, Louisville, Michigan, UCLA and the rest fell to the wayside.
Eventually, we were left with four programs steeped in tradition, and the two that emerged were… Seventh-seeded UConn and eighth-seeded Kentucky?
Yup. And if you missed the whole “how” and “why” to this “what,” we sincerely apologize, because this tournament has been a blast.
But this being a Modify blog, we won’t excite you with the details of the past three weekends — and during March Madness, weekends start on Thursday’s, at precisely 9:08 PST — because we will assume you have been kept abreast of all this information.
What we will do is track our Watch-elgangers from the first March MODness post a few weeks back.
To recap: We matched the color schemes of Tourney-bound NCAA programs with Modify watches, because options.
Extended recap without traditional sentence structure: Kansas got the Bluebird of Happiness; Wichita State got the School Bus and so on.
But, but!, BUT!! But UConn got the Gulf of Modico, and Kentucky could just as easily assimilate to the Papa Smurf as Duke could (not our fault they have nearly identical colors).
So that gives a Monday night matchup of The Gulf of Modico vs. The Papa Smurf.
The basketball game, played by people, will most likely be decided by a few matchups: UConn’s manic defense vs. Kentucky’s insanely talented (but oft-rattled) Freshman, UConn’s backcourt (Shabazz Napier & Ryan Boatright, ampersand required) vs. the Harrison Twins (Aaron & Andrew, ditto on the ampersand requirement), Julius Randle vs. Skinny DeAndre Daniels and Niels “Ed Sheeran” Giffey (Pronounced: .gif-eye) vs. James “Cheetos” Young.
The Battle of the Wrists, however, is slightly different. For instance, when it comes to blue, does navy or royal reign supreme? Or, do beaches (Modico) beat little blue aliens (Smurfs)? Day sky or night sky? It’s tough.
But let’s be real people, if you’re undecided who to cheer for this evening, just remember: Shabazz Napier. Say it out loud. “Shabazz Napier.” Take it from us (or at least this writer), Shabazz Napier is a really fun name to yell at the inanimate television. Maybe the best name since Mookie Blaylock*.
And when all else fails, cheer for the name that’s fun to say. That’s a rule somewhere. We think.
* M-m-m-m-m-Mookie! (he’d love one of these, btw)